<p class="p1"><b>Thank you for the opportunity to edit your work. Please let me know if there are any issues, and I will address them asap.<br /></b><br /><br />Hi - honestly, there weren't very many changes to made in this text. The writing is sound; the grammar usage is good, and there are hardly any typos.<br /><br />BUT - I will make a few comments on the content, which I think will help you, if you intend to publish and/or simply find an audience.&nbsp;<br /><br />On the positive, you do a good job of describing the world and you appear to have a good knowledge base for fantasy writing. You also do a good job of writing action, which is sometimes hard to do.<br /><br />However, there is one main issue: I found myself quickly growing impatient because I don't know who I am really reading about; there is simply too much description and not enough characterization. Ultimately, I did not seem to really care about what was going on in the story -- and you do want the reader to care.<br /><br />Who is this person at the beginning of the story? The reader needs to know something about him right away, which will do a much better job of bringing the reader into this battle. There is no real perspective here. In other words, we should see this battle through his character -- and the descriptions of the battle, as they are now, are simply too dry to make them character-driven.&nbsp;<br /><br />Also -- the focus, if there really is one, seems to go between the man and then it is from the woman's POV, but again, we know absolutely nothing about who this person is. You really want to try to keep the focus from one character's perspective in each chapter -- unless you divide the chapter into sections.<br /><br />Let me give you an example: in Game of Thrones books, we are first introduced to three characters in the woods about to face the white walkers: we learn just a few things about these characters in the first few paragraphs -- what they are feeling and what they think about each other&mdash;all of this while George Martin manages to describe the scenery (in very few words). It is all character-driven action -- which makes us care right away about the characters.<br /><br />Here is a website that discusses this very issue: I suggest taking the advise to heart because it will greatly improve what you are trying to do here:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.writersstore.com/character-driven-or-action-driven/">https://www.writersstore.com/character-driven-or-action-driven/</a><br /><br />Best of luck!<br /><br /></p>