Hello, Jamie,<br /><br />Your personal statement is well written and displays your passion for your subject of study admirably. Your command of the language is impressive, too. I made some changes for precision of language and clarity. It is important to note that you need not use such phrases as "I feel" and "I believe," as it is expected that your statement reflects your beliefs and feelings. In addition, I removed some of this type of phrasing to lend an air of confidence to your statement--you should feel confident in what you've accomplished, and you can convey this by saying things like "I look forward to studying at Northwestern" instead of "I am confident that I am ready to study at Northwestern." I hope this makes sense. Please feel free to reject changes as you see fit, and to contact me if you have any questions. Thank you very much, and good luck in your pursuit of the crucial work of multiculturalism.<br /><br />Laura Kenney<br /><br />