I'll take advantage of the messaging system once. In the piece about the 96-year-old lady, at the end I think she said, "That hurts the most--the things YOU SAID (or maybe YOU'VE SAID) to people."
I think what she was trying to say is that these are the mistakes she regrets the most: the bad, mean, hurtful things she has said to other. Looking back, these memories HURT HER. I fear that "The things you say to people" means that as we all know, words are hurtful (to other people). I wonder if you'd agree. Thank you.