I'm open to any suggestions, grammatical fixes, and better ways to word sentences. Feel free to better the essay in any way, including but not limited to rearranging setences, helping me organize my thoughts better, and develop my ideas more.&nbsp;<br /><br />The prompt is the following:<strong><em> Submit a 250 - 500 word essay&nbsp;explaining&nbsp;how you are overcoming obstacles (or already have!) to secure a spot in your dream college; how you are building your voice for a cause you care about; and how you plan on making room for others to join you on your journey. (33% each)</em></strong><br />I think there are some areas where it is sort of vague. Also, from idea to idea I think that they can flow better and more smoothly.<br />(I don't know how to transition from the paragraphs about Harvard to about STEM).<br /><strong>Finally, I'm not sure if I completely answered the prompt. Can you also help me elaborate so that it would completely answer it? (I'm not sure if I have really defined an "obstacle")</strong><br />Basically, what I was trying to say is that my obstacle is a sort of gender problem in STEM but a fortunate one. (It didn't really tie into the dream college as I had hoped it would). Also the gender issue was also supposed to be a part of the "cause I care about." Hopefully, it can become more apparent/clear. Any help is welcome!<br /><br />Thank you!