Hello, sir!<br />Thank you very much for your help, last time!<br /><br />This is my writing sample with some&nbsp;detailed logic, but not that hard to understand.<br /><br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Most of all, the school requires it to be less than 500 words.</strong></span>&nbsp;I have already shortened it from 700 words,<br />and I am asking for your help.&nbsp;<br /><br />So, I hope you could, please, help me<br />1. shorten&nbsp;it to come between <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>450 -&nbsp;500 words, while not altering the logic or main contents</strong></span> (now it is slightly over 600 words)<br />2. connect each sentence with more <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>smooth "linking words"</strong></span><br />3. make it sound <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>natural<br /><br /></strong></span>Thank you very much!<br />Hangsan Ahn<br /><br />