<p class="p1"><b>Thank you for the opportunity to edit your work. Please let me know if there are any issues, and I will address them asap.<br /><br /></b>I edited the first few paragraphs, which should give you an idea of my editing approach. However, there may be too much unnecessary detail here and you definitely want to avoid the use of cliches: the cold sweat of fear, tremor of fear, fingernails on a chalkboard.<br /><br /><br /></p>