<p><b>Thank you for the opportunity to edit your work. Please get back to me if there are any issues, and I will address them asap. I really enjoyed this story!! It reminds me of Daniel Pinkwater -- if you don't know his work, you really really really need to check it out!&nbsp;<a href="http://www.pinkwater.com">http://www.pinkwater.com</a>. My only comment mostly revolves around the analogies, most of which borderline on being cliche -- which you want to avoid at all costs! Your writing is particular strong, and you do a good job of getting in protagonists emotions and imagination that you don't need to rely on cliches -- or even analogies. In other words, the story speaks for itself quite well. I could see a bit more trimming to get the story tightened up a little more. But that would be up to you to remove any word, sentence, or paragraph that are not contributing to keeping the story moving forward.&nbsp;I cannot really decide for you. I wish you all the best of luck with this work.&nbsp;</b></p>
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