Thanks for your edit. Everything is good, except the last paragraph which is reordered, some of the things I wanted to be there are removed (for example about my family, ...). I am not sure what you mean by removing them, is it because they are grammatically wrong, or awkward, or you didn't like them.<br /><br />Without reordering, and without removing any of the words,&nbsp;<br /><br />Furthermore, pursuing my PhD studies in United States, with an excellent higher education system and international environment, specifically at Duke University, where innovation is the main focus<strong>, will help me enhance my innovative skills in research, advance my knowledge in Finance, and continue to flourish in my career</strong><strong>. Also, </strong>my passion for comprehension of profound knowledge in Finance will be enhanced.
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