Hi there,<br /><br />Thanks for sending this sample over to me to edit! I'm definitely interested in editing the full text. As mentioned in my biography, I've worked on manuscripts across a variety of genres, including sci-fi/fantasy.<br /><br />On to your sample text - just about everything was technically and grammatically correct. I suggested a few different types of punctuation to kind of break up the rhythm of the sentence in the reader's head, but those are all suggestions - not anything that's set in stone. :)<br /><br />Generally when doing a full edit on a text I'll go through from a technical - grammar/syntax/spelling/etc - standpoint at first, and then go back and make sure the story flows and makes sense. If I have any suggestions for anything I'll use the Comment feature in Track Changes to communicate those ideas.<br /><br />I hope this has given you an idea for how I work! As I said, I'd love to work with you further. <br /><br />Please don't hesitate to let me know if you have any comments or questions!<br /><br />Cheers,<br />EM