Hi Jaeyoung, <br /><br />Thanks so much for following up with me. It's always great to edit for someone who shows interest in working with me to get the best possible version of his or her work! <br /><br />To answer your questions: <br /><br />1. I believe that moving the explanation of Ling Chen's work and research interest up to the second paragraph is a better plan than adding a sentence there and keeping the final paragraph as it currently is.<br />Your examples of what you might put look good, but there are a couple minor edits I would suggest if you're going with those specific wordings: "faculty members" instead of "faculties" and "emphasized that" instead of "emphasized the" in the second paragraph additions; and "factors" was misspelled in what you're thinking of adding to the last paragraph.<br /><br />2. Changing the highlighted phrase to "accredited researcher in either private think tanks or the multilateral sector by building experiences in the Edwin O. Reischauer Center for East Asian Studies at Johns Hopkins SAIS" sounds like a great way to incorporate Johns Hopkins into your personal statement there (note that I recommend you add the article "the" before "Edwin O. Reischauer Center for East Asian Studies" but otherwise have no recommended edits for what you wrote in your message to me).<br />I don't think you need to keep the UNRIS reference, since it's more important to show interest in and knowledge of Johns Hopkins specifically.<br /><br />It definitely looks like you're on the right track. Please let me know if you have any further questions, or if you want me to look over your final version (particularly that final paragraph, since you're moving bits of its information into the second paragraph). <br /><br />Best, <br />Tori