Hi, Danielpham:<br /><br />What a lovely poem!<br /><br />It's always&nbsp;tricky&nbsp;to make poetic suggestions. There's only one poet and it isn't the editor. However, having said that, I went ahead and suggested&nbsp;some different words, while still retaining your original meaning. They are, of course, only suggestions and you can easily reject any or all by right-clicking and choosing reject markup.<br /><br />To be honest, I was hesitant about changing anything, for fear of spoiling the original. But I'm sure you just want ideas.<br /><br />If you have any questions, please send a message to me via Editor World.<br /><br />Best wishes&nbsp;- George<br /><br />P.S. Whatever you do, keep writing!