By the way, John, if you liked the edited version at all, or parts of it, but felt it needed fleshing out, please just keep what you like and add to it.<br /><br />I find that cutting what I've written is often harder than writing it in the first place, but drastic cutting can make the difference between a fluid narrative and a convoluted one.<br /><br />Anyway, good luck with your story. I liked the way you got right into it. You grabbed my attention from the start, and that's half the battle.<br /><br />Best wishes - George&nbsp;<br /><br />&nbsp;