Hi Rebecca,<br />Thanks for your time reading my writing. Your comments on the paper were particularly a great help for me, while your editing also makes the paper look a lot beter always. Frankingly speaking, due to the writing issue and stress, I feel like that I need to change my professornal. That's my everyday mental agony. &nbsp; <br /><br />I attached a file again because there are three whole paragrahes that I marked as red. I thought it will be easier for you as well to quickly look through them on the paper.&nbsp;<br />I did not make a big change putting more words in the paragraphes. Rather I deleted some words and did small modifications to clarify the meanings in the sentences through each paragraph. I would like to know if there are still some parts, not clear or awkward.<br />I really appreciate your help, Rebecca. <br /><br /><br />Many thanks,<br /><br />Jaehoon