<p>Teardrops that Tango:</p>
<p>Kirk</p>
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<p>&ldquo;A mere moment too late and we can never reach them any more in this world. They will not be cured by our most efficacious drugs or slain with our sharpest swords.&rdquo; (F. Scott Fitzgerald)</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I'll never forget the last words my fianc&eacute; said to me before I watched him die. &ldquo;You want me to end all your problems, Amber? I&rsquo;ll end them all right now!&rdquo; His words spat through his teeth, his jaw was locked. Kirk&rsquo;s normally composed personality disappeared, replaced with this hysterical man in front of me.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; This wrath quickly diminished the easy-going man I knew, and was scheduled to marry in two months. He struggled and clawed against the air, towards our bedroom. The breath locked in my lungs when he reappeared clutching his father&rsquo;s 9mm <em>Smith &amp; Wesson</em>.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; His forehead was slicked with sweat as he buried the muzzle into his right temple. A pang of futility pierced through me, blanching the color from my face. The pulsing terror was so acute, I was virtually paralyzed. My mind struggled to defy this indefinable moment as Kirk wielded that gun. I was frantically holding onto his life by my own willpower alone, but my wits were sapped. Wrestling with reality, my vision distorted as my life played out like a movie on fast forward, jumping from one random section to another. I wasn&rsquo;t in a real life drama, but a nightmare. <em>How can this be happening? </em></p>
<p><em>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </em>Kirk's legs quavered as he tried to stabilize himself. I could feel my throat begin to swell when he narrowed his eyes and tightly pursed his lips. I struggled to escape the rising panic that twisted within my newly pregnant belly and coursed up to my fingertips. His nostrils flared as his index finger curled around the trigger. <em>Oh no&hellip;. Please God no&hellip;</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Merely hours before, our joy was looked upon as enviable. How did we get from selecting baby names to this desperate position, with twisted threats of self-execution?</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>In the Beginning</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll send someone right over Amber.&rdquo; The raspy male voice responded through the walkie-talkie&rsquo;s static. Offended and annoyed with customers like this, I crossed my arms and tapped my foot, glancing every now and again at the invisible watch I wasn&rsquo;t wearing. I never required a &ldquo;captain&rsquo;s&rdquo; (our appealing name for bouncers) assistance at work before, their faces were unfamiliar melded images, along with the masses of other employees at the restaurant. I only recognized their sharp business attire.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The plastered patron that initiated my summoning attempted to pinch my back side again, tumbling off a bar stool in the process. I was incensed with him, my irritation recognizable in my offended grimace. I waited impatiently for my co-worker to &ldquo;remove&rdquo; this guy. Reinforcement began funneling towards me in a posh blue suit. The atonal music of the busy night seemed to hush in awareness of him. Mid-tap, my foot went motionless, my mouth gaping in awe.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Demanding veneration, this captain walked in long, big strides, appearing like a force of nature. I kept my eyes trained on this man, feeling drawn towards him, as if he tugged some invisible rope around my waist. My arms plummeted lifelessly to my sides in submission. <em>Who is that?!</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; At six foot, eight inches tall, it was impossible to not take notice of this striking man. He was intimidating, but beautiful, hoisted head and shoulders above everyone else. I squinted to see the black name-pin on his upper chest. A step closer and it came into focus; &ldquo;Kirk.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; He was smiling indulgently, his faultless olive skin radiating from under his clothing. He had jet-black hair that was slicked-back straight, but delectable stubborn ringlets curled up at the nape of his white Oxford collar. His piercing brown eyes intensified his cultural &eacute;lan, making my knees buckle.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I suddenly couldn&rsquo;t speak, so I pointed to the drunken culprit. Without saying a word, Kirk looped his hand through the inebriated cat-caller&rsquo;s Western-style belt and carried him at least fifty feet to the front doors, using the man&rsquo;s head to swing them open. With fluid harmony, he lobbed &ldquo;drunken sticky fingers&rdquo; into a waiting cab. When the taxi zipped away, Kirk straightened his tie, smoothed his hair with both hands, and swaggered back inside. He was astoundingly quick, the delinquent activities resolved in less than two minutes. My stomach quivered as he came back inside and boldly promenaded towards me again. <em>Speak Amber, get yourself together girl!</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;Are you okay&hellip;?&rdquo; his stunning eyes began searching my blouse for my name badge, making my chest feel fiery.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; "Amber!" I almost shouted, thrusting out my hand for him to shake. &ldquo;Y&mdash;yyes, I&rsquo;m ookay now, Kkkirrrk,&rdquo; I stuttered.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;It&rsquo;s nice to meet you Amber,&rdquo; he accepted my handshake with a demure but amused smile, his enormous hand consuming mine. Forked lightning speared through my body when our hands joined, my eyes darted up to meet his. <em>Did you feel that?</em> I marveled at the sensation and questioned his eyes to see if he felt it too, but he seemed even and unruffled.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&ldquo;You just let me know if you have any more trouble,&rdquo; he said. I bobbed my head up and down as to indicate that I would. <em>Uh, yeah, I&rsquo;m scorched from your heat, but I&rsquo;m good.</em> I evaded eye contact with him once more, but when I dared to sneak another peek, he winked at me before walking away. I flushed, tingling from head to toe. His smile seemed to glow in the dark. I realized I had been holding my breath, and exhaled in a huge whoosh. When I regained my footing, I turned to my co-worker and whispered, &ldquo;He&rsquo;s mine.&rdquo;</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I couldn't stop ogling him throughout the night, a moment more with Kirk, I would be the cat-caller removed for sexual harassment. Returning home after my shift, I was still thinking about him all night. How handsome and mysterious he was. How swiftly he &ldquo;rescued me.&rdquo; I couldn&rsquo;t wait to see him again, but when I checked our work schedule for his hours, I saw he was off. <em>Crap!</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I sauntered off to my station, frustratingly kicking at invisible stones on the floor. Sooner than my heart could sink, I saw him walking right towards me.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <em>Oh God!</em> I spun around and quickly slathered on some lip gloss. He reminded people of the actor, Steven Seagal, and I could see the association, especially since he was into karate. He had obviously just showered, and was wearing a gi and a clean white T-shirt. The scent of soap and a mild men&rsquo;s cologne wafted off his body. He casually sat in one of my booths.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; His hair was disheveled in such a cute way, I wanted to reach out and slowly twirl one of those black ringlets around my index finger. <em>Stop that Amber! </em>I anxiously flattened out invisible wrinkles in my skirt, combed my fingers through my hair, and walked towards him. <em>Just don&rsquo;t fall on your face!</em></p>
<p><em>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </em>I nonchalantly smiled, the actress in me taking over with a composed, even detached job performance. Robotically, I offered him a menu and asked if he&rsquo;d like something to drink. I was looking back and forth between him and the quivering menu in my hands. <em>Why can&rsquo;t we will ourselves not to tremble?</em> When he reached for it, it was clear he wasn&rsquo;t shaking. His large hand instantly covered half the menu size.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Kirk never broke eye contact with me, which made me inadvertently start biting my lip and shifting my feet. It was as if he relished seeing me flustered. <em>Guess who immediately failed in her coolness attempt?</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; He finally answered, &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll just have a bottle of water please.&rdquo; His voice was so suave and cultured, I didn&rsquo;t respond right away. My stomach was too busy quivering and the restaurant suddenly felt so small.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;Are you all right?&rdquo; he asked. Hearing his voice again made me blink out of my daze, and I stammered back into gear. My father had taught me how to interpret men, I knew this god in a suit was trouble.</p>
<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &ldquo;Of course,&rdquo; I said thickly, determined to respond casually. I was irritated with myself for appearing so awkward and frazzled. &ldquo;One water, coming up,&rdquo; I chirped and scampered away like a frightened rabbit.</p>