<p>Good afternoon,<br />Thanks so much for choosing me as your editor today.<br /><br />I have gone through and made some changes. There wasn't a ton of grammar to be fixed, but I did make some changes. You had some tense shifts I fixed, as well as some mismatched identifies. I also made sure you had&nbsp;consistency in your lists (meaning everything in a list ended with -ing or -ed, basically keeping it easier to read).<br /><br />As for your clarity, there are a lot of really long sentences. You have a tendency - like me - to keep tacking on more information to sentences, stringing extra bits along with additional commas. While this is a great way to get lots of facts squeezed in, it becomes a bit of a hardship to read. Granted I am no expert on your topic, but I had to read many sentences multiple types to try and discern the gist of what you were saying. I made some comments as I tracked changes about this, but I would encourage you to change your patterns of sentences to allow for some occasional shorter ones. Switching it up from time to time not only gives the reader a break, but makes those shorter sentences of importance stand out.<br /><br />Keep up the good work. I'm sure you'll do great on this paper as your passion, knowledge, and research clearly shine through.<br /><br />Thanks again,<br />Ryan</p>