Thank you for note. I have reviewed your comments and re-edited the draft less extensively.<br /><br />Your writing is fine. When I edit, I have to make a lot of judgment decisions about wording and structure. My versions are options and not necessarily "better" than your originals. As the author, you can reject any change you disagree with.<br /><br />And&nbsp;so you'll know, I was born in 1958 in South Carolina and have been speaking English for almost 58 years. I have a Bachelor's and a Master's in English/education/creative writing.<br /><br />I spent 15 wonderful years in Japan and my son still lives there.<br /><br />Please see the attached file and I look forward to working with you again soon.<br /><br />Jackson<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />