Dear Halah,<br /><br />Your paper is extremely well written for someone who is just learning the language. I made changes to keep tense consistent, for correct usage, and to make sure titles and punctuation were as they should be. I did not want to change your writing too much; I wanted to be sure to keep your very strong voice intact.<br /><br />That voice is a pleasure to have been acquainted with. Your views and perspectives are valid and valuable, and you have a wondrful way of expressing them. Check with your teacher--you are informal in places, as though you are having a discussion with a friend--for many teachers this is okay, but for some it might be an issue.&nbsp;<br /><br />Again, it was a pleasure reading your paper, and I encourage you to contact me if you have any questions or concerns with the edits.<br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Laura Kenney