Hi there-<br />Thanks for selecting me to edit today.<br /><br />A few notes:<br />1) It is one very long paragraph. For user-friendliness, it might be helpful to chop it into some shorter paragraphs to be a bit less intimidating to the reader.<br />2) Open Internet Order: Sometimes you capitalize this phrase and sometimes you don't. I would stay consistent, so always capitalize it or never do. I'm not familiar with this concept, so I'm not sure if it should be capitalized or not.<br />3) I would suggest reading tough sentences out loud. Often it helps to hear it, and if you can't read a sentence without stopping it may need some work.<br />4) I was not able to get to 3.5 pages without deleting major portions, but I did get you to the 4th page and deleted over 400 words<br /><br />Thank you again and good luck on this well-researched writing assignment. It's chockfull of detailed information! Well done!<br /><br />Ryan