Hi&nbsp;Kyu Wan<br /><br />I have uploaded your edited document and hope that you find the suggestions helpful. If you have any questions, please send a message to me via Editor World.<br /><br />Before sharing this document, consider running Document Inspector. To do this, click File/Info/Check For Issues/Inspect Document on the Microsoft Word menu bar.<br /><br />Microsoft Word displays tracked changes and comments by default. <br /><br />To review the edited document without showing tracked changes, click Review on the Microsoft Word menu bar. Then select Final: Show Markup and click the drop-down arrow. Choose Final. To show tracked changes again, click Final: Show Markup.<br /><br />I think you covered most of the points in your essay well. I just reworked them into coherent argument. You say English is your second language. Well, I couldn't tell. In any case, you are fluent in two languages at least while I am in just one.<br /><br />Please proofread carefully.<br /><br />Best wishes - TypeRighter (aka George)<br /><br />I am usually available for editing between 6:00 am and 10:30 pm. If my status is set to unavailable, you can still send a message to me via Editor World.