Hello Jackson,
Glad to give your a 2nd look.  Very helpful feedback and great flow.  Screw up is now part of the piece.  I kept Marty serving time in Purgatory.  The limo guy getting the same sentence seemed to fit nicely.  I did not include your reference to Martys eternal interlude.  I missed the connection (which is easy for me to do) to the opening paragraph.  Any thoughts?  Last thing is I know I have much to learn, and getting the tense right is something I need to pay more attention to.  I know thats part of editing, but its also about being a better writer 
Thanks again,
Dan