I would like a streamlining of the story, proofreading any comments that you might have to change the pace and content of the story, probably parts of ii- paragraphs even to be taken out. It is one of my first stories and I am not sure how I did with it so seeing the eddited version I think will help me to improve on my writing. English is my second language so if you have any comments on any common occuring stylist or grammar mistakes will be appreciated.<br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br />Rosko Tzolov