Thank you for your submission! The majority of my edits served to improve the flow of your argument. I did quite a bit of rearranging and rephrasing to make your points clear and concise. In general, however, you need more hard evidence (direct quotations) to support your thesis. The majority of your paper should be close analysis, where you scrutinize segments of the text and explain why they support your overall argument. Yes, the character goes through a transition from socialite to recluse, but what does that mean for the story in general? What did Hemingway want to say by showing his readers this transition? Please be sure to read my in-text comments and feel free to reach out if you have any questions!