This is a transfer essay I wrote for transferring to another school. I hope you can help me revise the whole essay. 1. Help me keep a strong argument 2. Revise my dazzling sentences. 3.&nbsp;Beware of inappropriately elevated language&mdash;words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or jargony. 4. &nbsp;Try to find the perfect words, the most precise and specific language.