As soon as I saw your paper, I knew it was the kind of manuscript I'd like to edit. As my profile says, I believe that an editor's job is to hone a writer's words, not make them what the editor might have written. Your style is clear and I like it, and I'd be pleased to work with you to make it as good as it can be. I'm a nitpicker, so not many errors get past me. I can use a lot of punctuation or just a little, whatever you like. Incidentally, while editing this sample, I also made some formatting corrections, such as making the spacing after a period consistent at one space, which is what most style guides recommend.