Hi, Dan,

Yes, I got the connection--that's what the ooooooo! was for--I should have explained that it gave me goosebumps. It is not evident throughout that there's going to be a connection, and then you masterfully slip it in there. Excellent. That is part of the reason I suggested the short story/novella--this is a great opening to lead into the background on Jay and Jerry and Gwendolyn, and some back story on Frank and Sophia. As regards Frank, his bitterness and misplaced anger is very evident. By hilarious I meant that his sarcastic remarks, although biting, are still witty. As both a purveyor and fan of sarcasm, I can appreciate his need to use it as a form of venting. Hope that makes sense.

Dan, your stuff is so good, as I've mentioned one or two times ;)  You have the encapsulation of a scene nailed. Perfect. I've been wracking my brains to try to figure out a way to present them short of you writing the meat of the story between and among the scenes. It might even call for a new format. Scene shots? Slices of Life? Lame names, but you get the point. What do you think?