Dear Kay2089,<br /><br />I have edited the last paragraph of your document to provide you with a sample of my editing work. I have made changes (using track changes) and wrote a few comments.&nbsp;<br /><br />One of the main feedbacks that I would like to give you is to avoid the overuse of pronouns such as&nbsp;<em>this&nbsp;</em>and&nbsp;<em>it</em> as the subject of your sentences. The use of such words at the beginning of a sentence creates confusion for the reader because the reader will need to figure out what&nbsp;<em>this&nbsp;</em>or&nbsp;<em>it&nbsp;</em>is referring to from the previous sentence when it is not clear. <br /><br />It is best if you identify the subject with a noun, even if you'll need to use more words, otherwise you'll be compromising the clarity of your meaning.<br /><br />If you are satisfied with this sample, I'll be happy to help you with the remaining of your document.<br /><br />Thank you for choosing SciEdit!<br /><br />PS: If you are not familiar with track changes, please review this link:&nbsp;<br />https://support.office.com/en-us/article/Track-changes-in-Word-197ba630-0f5f-4a8e-9a77-3712475e806a