Great job and suggestions.  You have my permission to edit any of my work, change it to me language and APA requirements.  I was raised in a two language home and as such have learned (over the years) that I word phrases backward and many times explain way to much to reach a point.  
I will send more your way.  Again, please you do not have to make the suggestion in the wording just change and show me on the side so I can accept.
Vance