Stephanie -<br /><br />I've edited the document you sent and left a few comments. I thought it was fine, but there were some areas you could improve upon. I feel like that you might need to try to develop a more professional tone. I understand that you're familiar with this professor, so it's okay to have some level of informality, but you should remember that this person wants to know how well you will work on this program. I do feel also that the qualifications you have are good, and you should try to expand on them, give more concrete details.<br /><br />Good luck with the grad program, feel free to call on me again if you have a further draft.<br /><br />- TWD