RE: EW 51875 
At the End of the Day

Hello again,

Thanks again for your edits and comments.  I had the impression that you think the story, in is current form, is okay, but theres room for improvement.  Im beginning to understand your push for having this story told by a character and not by me, like a reporter.  So, I am re-working the story:

I am writing it from the eyes of a summer intern (college business student) who worked in he Accounting Dept under the supervision of Alex Morrison (chair of theNoise Catches).   He is writing his story ten years after his internship. The intern was given responsibility to tally the daily noises submitted by the Noise Catchers.  Morisons secretary, Mrs. Martha Sturgess (grandmother like) had done the tallying before the intern arrived.  She takes the student under her wing and fills him on on the Noise Catcher program..  

The story begins with the intern attending the meeting Harding is in at the opening of the story as currently written.  After the meeting he returns to the accounting dept, confused about what he hears and saw.  Mrs. Sturgess fills him in and everything becomes clear:

Heres the opener:

	I remember that first day, ten years ago, my first meeting, my first encounter with people who talked business.  The opening line in the first business meeting I attended at Zack Inc. as a summer intern was from John Harding, Marketing Manager.  He said, People, that dog dont hunt.  
	The meeting was about a print ad submitted by Zacks advertising agency for a promotional campaign for Pappy Wappys, a fast food restaurant chain and new client for Zack.
	Everyone at the meeting listened to Hardings words with such intensity, I thought any other noise would have been an unwelcome interruption.  I even wondered if they could hear my heart pounding with my nervousness.  I soon learned, they really werent listening with intensity;  they were listening with anticipation.  They were waiting to hear something.  Something that could be counted.
	The meeting went on for another fifteen minutes.  I was so fresh to this world of business, I wasnt sure if any progress was made or solution reached.  Then, Harding abruptly closed the meeting by saying, At the end of the day, the ball is in our court.   He walked out the room, leaving everyone sitting at the table, staring at one another.  Then, after what seemed to be about a minute of silence, the laughter came.  I was confused.
__________ 
	I hope you dont mind the length of this message.  Before I undertake a complete re-write, I wanted to get your reaction to the direction I plan to take it.  Please let me know if you consider this request to be outside the boundaries of your editing services.  

Thanks,
Dan