Hello,<br /><br />My specialty is fiction writing, but I hope I was able to give some comments and edits that will be helpful for you. It certainly has an academic feel and could be a bit dry to readers in an online setting. My advice is to go back through and consolidate aggressively, stating concepts in the simplest, most concise terms possible. Even for a magazine of this type, online readers have a short attention span and will get bogged down by long quotes or passages of exposition.&nbsp;<br /><br />I think the key to engaging readers with this type of "heavier" theological topic is to stay on topic (more about that in my notes) and constantly relate the ideas and history you're discussing to present day events and mindsets that they likely encounter on a regular basis. Make sure every word you use directly lends clarity to your topic. I think this will help you bring brevity and clarity to your piece, and as such, more easily engage readers. <br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />Katie M. <br />www.storyforhisglory.com&nbsp;