Thank you for your sample request! In this excerpt I focused primarily on rephrasing some runon sentences and clarifying the occasional word choice. You have a very unique voice, just becareful not to let the imagery you create through metaphor disrupt the movement of the plot or your reader will get lost. <br /><br />Creative fiction is my specialty, so I would love to work with you on this project. Some of my previous work includes a young adult novel of about 130,000 words (which the author has just published) and a historical action screenplay.&nbsp;<br /><br />Let me know if you would like to work together, and thank you again!<br /><br />