Hi,<br /><br />This essay is for my graduate application.<br />I sincerely request you to incorporate the following preferences into the essay.<br /><br />i) Making the essay more engaging and active (less passive)<br />ii) Making my personality in the essay sound more like an all round personality rather than unidimentional one<br />iii) Making my voice in the essay sound genuine and sincere<br /><br /><br />Thanks,<br />Prashanth<br />Hyderabad, India