Hi&nbsp;Jaeyoung:<br /><br />I have uploaded your edited document and hope that you find the suggestions helpful. If you have any questions, please send a message to me via Editor World.<br /><br />What I tried to do was keep the document focused on your homesickness. I think the brief sections on international politics aren't necessary, because the purpose of the anecdote is to give a sense of who you are to the admissions officers. Effective writing is as much about what you take out as it is by what you leave in.&nbsp;I know it's hard to cut, but it can be worth doing.<br /><br />I've addressed each of your comments in the comments themselves. I believe that you now have a tightly written anecdotal essay, which ticks all the boxes: you take a small personal event, a sprinkle of humor, and you work it into an important life lesson.<br /><br />I'll be unavailable until 6:00 am (EST) tomorrow, but if you have any questions, be assured I'll get back to you as soon as possible. I hope your interviews are going well.<br /><br />Best wishes - George&nbsp;