A very extensive edit, as the text rambles. The title doesn't become clear until the final few&nbsp;paragraphs.<br /><br />If your point is about&nbsp;leaving medical school for a business position as an analyst, then say that early on.<br /><br />I'm not sure the present text can be salvaged. Perhaps do a comparative blog on the merits and drawbacks of medical school vs. business.<br /><br />Sorry I cannot be more positive, but I agree with your first reviewer that the original draft oscillates too much.