I think that I understood the main argument, but I suggest checking your chronology to make sure that you are presenting the events in the order in which they happened. &nbsp;Sometimes there was repetition, or it was hard to tell what came before what. &nbsp;There are also quite a few incomplete sentences (without a verb or a subject) that need attention. &nbsp;This is a very ambitious topic and you did a good job managing it, but it just needs a little more tidying up before your instructor sees it. &nbsp;The suggestions for revision are all in the text.