I would be happy to work on it again, however, I can't really write it in any substantive way. I can only edit.

I will make myself available though over the next 24-48 hours to handle another edit.

She basically needs to tell a story of overcoming an obstacle.   So the obstacle is cancer and its effect an her academic potential her junior year. Talk about the missed school, the exhaustion, the cognitive strain cause by treatment. Then talk about the hours spent studying, the reading and-rereading, the time online looking up tutorials, etc. It shows dedication and strength. Then you talk about working so hard that she surpassed her peers and was able to help them.