Hello, this is Jimin Yoon.<br />I got your work today and I really appreciate your work. It is wonderful! <br /><br />I added few more sentences which relate to my club activities to give more specific example what kind of experience I had and how it apply to the work. <br /> <br />I highlited the part that I want to be edited. I want smooth transition to the next topic that my acheivement that set aprt from others.<br /><br />Thanks again for your consideration and help!!!<br /><br />