{"coupon":"","discount":"","doc_name":"Eng 2 Essay","doc_id":64760,"editorId":"474","email":"a_waleedo@hotmail.com","message":"Hello,&nbsp;<br \/><br \/>Hope your doing well. I'll start with clarifying the situation regarding this paper. I attached instructions of the paper with the attached essay, and for the professor comments, they are found below in my comments.<br \/><br \/>This is my second time editing this paper at the website. I had a history with this website as I've been editing a lot of papers from. Most the essays that I edit take a grade A or A- at least. However, this paper took a grade of C+. I was very unsatisfied so I changed my editor and came to you.&nbsp;<br \/><br \/>I hope Ill be having a good experience with you as I&nbsp;can choose you to be my editor for most of the papers.<br \/><br \/><strong>The following below were the&nbsp;comments that the professor provided me and I was lucky to have an opportunity to rewrite the paper:-<\/strong><br \/><br \/>Your paper argues that the creature can not be considered human because he does not fully embrace the characteristics of one nor a monster because he doesn&rsquo;t know good from evil. I thought this was a decent thesis, although you needed to finish your thought (bottom of first page) on what you meant by &ldquo;folly of creation,&rdquo; because it was a little unclear. Your thesis should embody the following format: my argument is &ldquo;x&rdquo; because of &ldquo;a,&rdquo; &ldquo;b,&rdquo; and &ldquo;c,&rdquo; and this gives us a new viewpoint, &ldquo;y,&rdquo; that we did not know before.&nbsp;<br \/><br \/>You have a great sense of the dynamics between the creature and Victor in the novel. However, I think the biggest knock on your grade is your lack of an outside source. This was one of the major requirements of the paper and I cannot in good conscience give a higher grade to a paper that does not have one and does not integrate it into their paper. Another thing that bothered me was your topic sentences and paragraph logic. A topic sentence is the first sentence of every paragraph that connects the previous paragraph&rsquo;s idea and announces the next one&rsquo;s while it reflects back on the thesis. For example, on p.2, you write that &ldquo;Furthermore, the creature is not a monster and cannot be blamed for his terrible actions.&rdquo; But this is directly related to your previous paragraph&rsquo;s examples of terrible actions, so I don&rsquo;t know why you consider it belongs in a new paragraph. You then start another new paragraph with a free-floating quote (bottom of that same page), which is also confusing.&nbsp;<br \/><br \/>The first sentence of each new paragraph should \"stitch\" the previous paragraphs idea with the next. Here's how to improve: I'm reminded about what I tell my ENG100 students. That each paragraph = one main idea. So for each paragraph, write alongside the margins what each main idea is for that particular paragraph. Then, you can look back on your essay and visualize see all your ideas, and this might help you articulate the transitions better.<br \/><br \/>Again: you have the makings of a great paper, but the above issues prevented you from getting there. I don&rsquo;t think a rewrite would take up much of your time, so don&rsquo;t hesitate to let me know if you would like to rewrite the paper and need help doing so.<br \/><br \/>Grade: C+<br \/><br \/><br \/><strong>For the outside source, please add any ideas from a source&nbsp;that best fits with the main idea of the story which is that the creature is just a creation, not evil neither good, something that was created, a matter. In addition, For the font and MLA citation, dont worry about it Ill take care of it, however, I would appreciate if you may add the source of the outside source you would use.&nbsp;<br \/><br \/><\/strong>Dont hesitate to contact me using the website,&nbsp;I would be online every hour.<br \/><br \/>THanks&nbsp;<br \/><br \/><br \/>","price_select":"10","temp_doc_name":"upload_564ce90d3ac347.84050501.docx","word_count":"963","subtotal":35.63,"total_amt":35.63,"firstName":"Alwaleed ","lastName":"Almesbahi","lastfour":"6142","exp":"0818","address":"20 2nd Street","city":"Cambridge ","zip":"02141","state":"MA","country":"United States","transactionReference":"7720649343"}