{"coupon":"","discount":"","doc_name":"DubinFellowAnswersToQuestions","doc_id":66093,"editorId":"541","email":"ernestopineda@gmail.com","message":"<p>This is the second fellowship I'm applying. (I'm more inclined to believe that this one is a better fit for me)<\/p>\r\n<p>I am sending you my two responses I need for you to help me clean and make it sharper and charged. This is a continuation of the admission package you helped me edit in November and December of last years, 2015 (about 4 months ago). I am currently competing for 3 fellowships, and the responses we are crafting here will have a major impact in my ability to be chosen as a fellow. <br \/> <br \/> As always, I have included in the total word count key background information I have pasted in the document, which I feel will give you better context of how and what I need from you in this editing session. Although I am under the word count limit on both responses, I don't mind if we reduce it even more if need be. Also, for some reason I feel I am repeating the words \"Latino\", \"United States\", and \"Immigrant\" WAY TOO MUCH in both responses. Please help me use different words, or strategically eliminating some unnecessary repetitions, as I am sure the essay as it currently stands, feels very rushed and not emotionally solid. <br \/><br \/><strong>For this one, I do need for you to cut\/reduce by about 50% the lenght of my first response. The word limit on that one is no more than 1000 words, and I believe I have written so far 2020 words. Please cut as you see fit. I specifically added the part about my hardshipw caring for my mother and my college career, as this fellowship requires that we show how we have overcome adversity. I feel that not only migrating to the US was an adversity for me, but also the sacrifices I had to make when my father left were a major adversity that shaped my life, and show my resilience as well. PLEASE FIND A WAY TO PRESENT\/FIT this part nicely into the essay. Right now it feels clunky and it doesn't have a nice flow at all. <\/strong><br \/> <br \/> I look forward to your advice as in prior sessions, in order for us to really create a winning essay.<\/p>\r\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\r\n<p>Best!<br \/> Salvador<\/p>","price_select":"2","temp_doc_name":"upload_56c2d0f864b6a2.05035669.docx","word_count":"2075","subtotal":41.5,"total_amt":41.5,"firstName":"Salvador","lastName":"Pineda","lastfour":"7232","exp":"1017","address":"11418 Rockville Pike, #2308","city":"North Bethesda","zip":"20852","state":"MD","country":"United States","transactionReference":"7986942578"}